Tough Love

Contributed by Coach Brian

Those of you who have read what I have written in the past know that it is mostly done in a positive, nurturing tone. However, over the years, I have found that sometimes people need tough love to spark the motivation that they need to accomplish great things. My intent here is not to offend but rather to grab a hold of anyone wallowing in self pity and shake them out of it. So let’s get into it.

First of all, if you want to be successful, stop comparing yourself to others. The only measuring stick you should be concerned with is your own progress. Sorry to have to tell you this but there is always going to be someone who can do things better, faster or easier than you. So unless you plan on being the best in the world at something, then who cares what other people are doing. This goes double for losing weight. Everyone knows a person who can eat and drink whatever they want and not gain a pound while you are “suffering” through exercise and calorie measuring just to get to where they are. If you want their body, then you should have had their parents. It’s a simple fact of life that some people are blessed with gifts that make things easy for them while others have to work 10x as hard to achieve the same results. If you’re taking the time to read this, chances are that you fall into the category of needing to struggle to see results. Welcome to the club that 90% of us are in. You can use this fact as an excuse why you can’t make progress, or you can suck it up and work that 15x harder to reach your goals. In the end you will come out the bigger winner than someone who had it easy. You will gain the strength, experience and sense of accomplishment that only comes from hard work and determination.

Since we are on the topic of working hard, most people overestimate the effort they put in to achieving their goals while underestimating the effort it will actually take to see a change. This combination of faulty expectations is what usually leads people to become frustrated and give up. If you’ve ever said out loud or thought to yourself, “I’m doing all this work and I’m just not getting results that I want”, you’re probably not working hard enough. If you think you’ve been eating good, then you probably need to eat better. If you tell yourself that you can’t do it, then you won’t. But, if you challenge yourself to do just a little bit better each week, then there’s nothing that can stop you. Remember, losing weight is not a goal; it’s the result of setting good goals and working hard to achieve them. If you’re not prepared to do the work, then losing weight is just a wish.

Finally, stop spending all your time focusing on what you don’t do well and don’t like about yourself. All that negative self-talk is exhausting and takes away energy that you could be putting towards making positive change. It also just makes you more self-conscious and less likely to take on challenges that can help you improve because you are afraid you might fail or that someone might see you fail. The only way to make progress is to find out where your failure point is and then work from there. Every time you fail, that experience should make you stronger and better able to succeed next time. That is why it’s said that you only truly fail if you give up. Plus, if you have the time to waste worrying about whether or not other people are judging your performance, then you’re not working hard enough. If there actually are other people wasting their time judging your performance, then they’re not working hard enough and who cares what they think.

To sum up, stop whining and complaining about what you can’t do. Harden up. Start with what you can do and build from there. Set solid goals and then work your ass off to achieve them. Learn from every failure and come back stronger for the next time you face a similar obstacle. Focus on the things that you can improve and make those changes stick rather than spending all of your time wishing for the results to come quicker. Do all these things and even if you don’t end up where you want to be, I guarantee you’ll end up in a better place than you are now. That’s how life works; you never know what you’re truly capable of until you get off your ass and give it a shot.

If this has you all fired up and ready to make a change, come on in and meet for a Strategy Session with one of our coaches and let them help you get started!